It's Been a Long Time Coming: The Back Story

So, I've been overweight for oh, about since I can remember, or at least since just after high school, which some days is the same thing. And I've been okay about it. Even when we all got called up in health class to have our BMI measured (in front of everybody). I mean, hey, fat people make the world a jolly place, right?

Anyway, I digress. I suppose that the first time I really told myself I needed to stop enjoying food so much was back a few years ago when I was working on my Masters. After stepping on the scales after 6 weeks of unhealthy eating and sleeping and work stress, I topped out at 299 pounds. Right then and there I swore to myself that I would never reach the 300 mark, although in some sports that would be a sweet club to belong to. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), I've put my sumo ambitions to rest.

I worked it down to a manageable 280. But that seems to be about as low as I've been able to get it in recent years. Lately, the stress of working two jobs and going back to school (yes, again) have apparently overcome my self-control. Bummer for me. Honestly, I don't feel any bigger, but the straw that broke the buffalo's back (camels are too sissy) happened this past Friday when our school takes the students up to Lagoon for the annual end-of-year trip. After waiting 40 minutes in line to shake my guts, the worker can't get one of the darn harnesses to lock into place over my belly. Instead of trying to get me to suck it in, I was asked to get off. (Pause for audience to retrieve jaws from floor.) No, "I'm sorry, sir" just "We'll have to ask you to exit the ride."

That did it.

I am resolved to lose the pounds, fight the fight, shed the blubber from my carcass, for the good of myself, my family, and whoever else might happen to give a crap. And I plan to do it any way I can. This blog will serve as a reminder for me as well as an inspiration because I'm going to make myself post frequently about what I did to not be so fat each day.

I realize my limitations. Guacamole bacon cheeseburgers will never become extinct, not should they. I can't drop it all overnight, although that would be a cool trick. My busy schedule won't really allow for an established routine or a gym membership. And I absolutely refuse to give in to one of those stupid fad diets. To quote my favorite feline, Garfield, "the word 'diet' is simply 'die' with a 't' on the end of it."

So I'm asking for support, some sympathy, and even a kick in the trunk every once in a while from you, my friends. Grab the Twinkie out of my hand, ask me if I should really be asking for bigger dessert plates, or at least leave me some encouragement every once in a while. It'll be much easier knowing that others are watching.

I'll keep you updated on my progress. I might post weights; I might not. It all depends on how much time it takes to sweep up the remains of the scale after I stomp its guts out. I'll just post every so often about things that I do to not be so fat.

P.S. Today I only ate one BLT for dinner and didn't have anything to snack on after 7:00.
(Pudgy smiley face.)

P.P.S. Also note the section at the bottom of the blog labeled "Self-imposed Rules Blah Blah Blah."