Small Change

Instead of snacking on leftover Halloween candy and Christmas treats, I ate celery during class.

Just in Case You Were Interested

Despite my consumption of a stereotypical American meal (Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coca-Cola) yesterday, I did throw away or give away several treats that my students brought to me. No, I didn't ask them to do it, and believe it or not, none of them were trying to bribe me.

The latest weigh-in was 280.9, so all hope is not lost. If I can make it through the stress of this week, all should be well again.

Just Don't Ask Today

I have not been good. Period.

However, I will update you on my bruise. It now runs the length of my lower leg (knee to ankle), and the coloration is lightening. There's still some swelling, but I can kneel without too much discomfort.

I am working on other aspects of my health, though. See my latest post on Joe Average Writer for an update. That would be the entry from December 1st. So if you don't hurry, you might have to exercise your scrolling finger!

This Just In...

All the poundage I put on immediately before Thanksgiving seems to have fallen off. I was pretty discouraged when my scale told me I had packed on an additional 4 lbs. over the holiday. I though I was managing my intake fairly well. I only had one plate for dinner. No, I'm not going to discuss how it was stacked, but those of you who have seen my mad plate-stacking skills might get a good idea. Then I only had two slivers of pie for dessert. I even exercised that morning by playing football with a group of guys for a couple of hours. The pictures of the bruise on my shin are too disturbing to post. Let's just say that I couldn't kneel until last night (and it still hurts to do so) because it had swollen so much. The dimensions (today) run about 10 or 11 inches long and about 6 inches wide. See what happens when I try to exercise.

So, it's back to the oatmeal. I've thrown away or given away all my candy and cake and pie and stuff. I've turned down brownies, cinnamon rolls, and other temptations. I did, however, kill a six pack of liquid poison over the course of a week.

For those who are watching my numbers (and laughing), I'm back to 280. Good news: there are no more leftovers. Bad news: there are no more leftovers.

Bad News

So I haven't been so goo lately. I know, so here it goes. This morning I'm giving away all my candy--from Halloween, from my birthday, from everything else. Consider it gone. I also exercised this morning for the first time in over a week. Having sick kids in the middle of the night really puts a cramp on getting up early, but no excuses any longer. This weekend I'm going to catch up on my work so the stress can go bye-bye. I'm going to start going to bed earlier so I can get up earlier. Again, this is all theory, but I'm going to work to make it happen.

It's a pity no one took up my wager. You'd be winning right now. Then again, the holidays aren't over. They're just beginning.

Usually, I take off this time of year from my carbonation fast, but I think I'm going to be more rigid about that. I'm not going to go spring for a case of Dr. Pepper or cream soda. I'll take it easy and drink responsibly.

So, for all of you who forgot my birthday, or those who just need to pay your next tribute, candy is no longer acceptable tender. Cash or other commodities are still acceptable.

P.S. If you haven't seen the updated rules at the bottom of the page, please check them out. See, I'm learning.

Yeah...Yeah...I Know

I haven't posted on this blog for quite a while...not quite as bad as my absence from JoeAverageWriter, but still pretty horrible. To keep up the shocking news, I hadn't exercised in over two weeks--16 days to be precise. And still, I had lost 1.1 lbs since my last measurement. In short, despite my horrendous eating habits and lack of dieting focus, I'm down to 279.5. It's not as low as I should be, but it's not too bad considering what an awful person I am.

Here come the holidays! And just so you know, I have not gained serious weight over birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year's in several years. Anybody wanna bet against me this year? Anybody wanna make a wager?

I'm Just Sayin'

Despite my best efforts, I don't think that eating popcorn and ice cream as I am up super freakin' late grading papers and trying to read research articles for a paper and presentation that is weeks overdue is going to do much for my physical or mental health. Although I have to add that the ice cream was supposedly lower fat or something pseudo-healthy like that.

I do need to report, though, that I am still holding strong to my no carbonation regimen (until my birthday next month). I have been tempted and sorely tried, but I am resolute in this. I'm actually thinking about maybe just taking a short respite for my B-day and then continuing the Lent-ish sacrifice until the end of the school year, with the few exceptions being Christmas, New Year's Eve, and maybe one or two other special occasions.

But I also need to knock off all this stayin' up late and stressin' and stuff if I ever expect to get up early and exercise again. Ha!

Quickie!

I know it's been a while, and I keep falling behind, but I thought I'd include my latest weigh-in, especially since I haven't done so in a week. Oh, I exercised this past week-just not in the mornings. Landscaping and fixing the kids' bikes and actually having time to be outside might have had something to do with it. I love Fall Break, even if I'm still not caught up and the stress is raining down.

278.7 lbs.

"It's Not My Fault...

being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise." This statement made by Andre the Giant in The Princess Bride still makes me laugh. And it has been kind of a running joke in my family as I have been the biggest and strongest for quite a while. Just a couple years ago while playing in the backyard at my parents', both my younger brothers, my sister, and my dad attempted to throw me into the pool. My siblings ended up wet, but all four of them couldn't manage to soak me. Ha!

But back to my supposed weight loss. I confess that I haven't been exercising much. I hurt my knee and back playing softball a few weeks back, and it's still lingering. Plus, I like my bed. I did weigh in on Monday at 278.7, but I didn't post. Life has been a little hectic. Not bad. However, I have also eaten the equivalent of a small pick-up truck over the past few days.

On Thursday my professor was actually visiting our site so we took her to dinner at Mimi's. Friday night Amy and I went to Winger's. I also had a leftover steak for lunch. I ordered more steak for dinner. And when I couldn't finish it off, I began to feel old and weak. So I killed it for breakfast alongside a three-egg omelet. Then I had to graze in the football snack pasture on Saturday. That night we took our scouts for a reward pizza dinner as well. Then today I couldn't leave the pork loin alone. Then we went to Mom and Dad's for ice cream and cookies. While we were visiting, one of the neighbors brought over part of a pig he had smoked this afternoon. The homemade BBQ sauce is still tingling the back of my throat.

Honestly, I'm a little scared for tomorrow. I hope I an exercise without puking or pausing for oxygen.

On a brighter note, I still haven't broken my carbonation drought since the beginning of the school year. Only five weeks to go! Time for a TUMS!

Roller Coaster

Up and down, loop-the-loop and drop. Freefall until you hit bottom. Then try and keep your stomach from jumping out your throat. Gotta love that feeling, that rush, that adrenalin, right? Maybe. But not when it comes to weight loss. Now, I have to admit that I was the most diligent this past week with my regimented breakfasts and exercising and such. And as a result, I bounced all over the scale (not literally). I dipped as far down as 277 and rose back to where should be unmentionable. No, it wasn't really that bad, but it was an up and down rickety whitewashed wooden ride that lasts 1/6134 of the time you spend standing in line. When the ride pulled to a stop this morning after a nondescript workout, I stood at 280. I think it's going to take a little more concentration and dedication to lower the ride requirement. Not having the soccer sidelines to pace will dent my efforts, but I'll have a little more time to find something else. The stress of falling behind my Ed.D. work doesn't help either. Time to shift gears...maybe even warm up the flux capacitor.

P.S. I still think I would fit on the ride that started this whole @#$% blog. And I have until May to prove it.

Consistency

After a week of upping and downing in the weight department, I landed back on last week's weigh-in result: 279.1. Not too bad considering a ate a LOT of ice cream these past two nights.

This week, I also started wearing a pedometer again. There were some give-aways from Sam's Club, so I thought, "Hey, why not?" Since then I've found out when I go to class and sit forever, I only take about 5,000 steps in a day, as opposed to when I coach Ally's soccer games, I pace the sidelines for about 13,000. And playing softball for an hour and a half gives me 11,500. Not too bad, but I've got to keep moving more. Granted, I don't wear the blue plastic thingy as a I exercise in the morning. Maybe I just need to be more consistent in my efforts. (Duh.)

I did notice one other thing this morning--although I may not be consistent in which days I exercise or what I do, there are two constants in my routines. First, my oatmeal. Gloppy and paste-like, it's there every morning Monday through Friday. It even makes an occasional appearance on weekends. And second, I get up and exercise every Monday morning. It might have something to do with actually going to bed on time Sunday nights. Go figure.

And the Answer Was...

279.1 lbs! My little binge over the weekend didn't do much damage. Go me. Woo hoo! It almost makes me want to do it again. Don't worry. I won;t do any cartwheels or cheerleader flip-spin-twirl-clap crap. I might pull something.

Now, some people might say, "So what? You're still fat."

And to that I say, "Shut up or I'll sit on you." I'm making progress. A few of my co-workers have noticed that I've dropped a few...not just by cutting my hair or leaving my gradebook on my desk. I'm even cinching down a notch on my belt most days now. Pretty soon I might have to buy a new one.

Now, for a few random items:

Today, I feel the need for a Coke, but it's a good thing I don't have any change.

Yesterday I brought a salad for my dinner during my class. Not as tasty as a spicy chicken sandwich or a breakfast burrito, but it was better for me. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Here's to keeping it up.

Moment of Truth

Now, before I weigh-in tomorrow, I must confess that I was bad this weekend. I went camping with Zac, Marc, Benjamin, and Dad. And because it was a father-and-son camp, we had to go the traditional route: KFC (grilled), Crackerjack, S'mores, and jerky. I have to say that I have not eaten so much in one sitting for quite a while, and MAN did I enjoy it! Burp! The next morning I got roped into making the eggs for the whole camp, and you know what happens when I cook. A few sausages seemed to go missing. However, I must say that they were turkey sausages, so it could have been worse. Then I just had to have Cafe Rio's pork burrito for dinner. The football game gave me indigestion (not literally), and Sariah wanted egg sandwiches for dinner tonight. So, in short, tomorrow does not look good for the scale. Back to the oatmeal. :(

P.S. My mouth is still en fuego from the pepper I put on my sandwich.

Rabbit Food

Haven't exercised in a few days; my bed has had other plans. I also had more fruit and veggies in my lunch than meat today.

For dinnerI passed on the fries and ordered a salad instead. The only problem occurred when I went to eat my salad (during class) there was no fork in my bag. Grrr! Luckily someone at the site had a box of plastic forks. This grizzly bear didn't have to starve...just eat rabbit food.

De-nied.

Today I turned down carrot cake, orange rolls, M&Ms, and a soda. And if you didn't catch it on Facebook, I gave a student back his (unopened) Cheetos after they were confiscated. Maybe tat will make up for the cake that another student brought me because he was bored on Sunday afternoon.P.S. I didn't eat the whole thing myself...the frosting was too sweet. Heh-heh.

Do You Believe in Magic?

Despite a rough weekend, one that involved football, lounging around, and eating way more McD's cheeseburgers than one ever should, I still came out of the weekend down 0.2 lbs. Can you say miracle? But today, I'm back to the morning oatmeal grind. Hopefully I can keep this up. My goal this week is to get below 280. Only 0.4 lbs. to go!

Quick Weigh-in

281.5. Happy Labor Day with BBQ pork ribs and smoked chicken.

Weight Loss Sunday

This may not be a big deal to anyone, but Friday morning I ran (by choice) for 10 minutes straight. I ave not been able to do that for a long time. Maybe I'll try it again this next week. I feel like a flabby lard. Maybe coaching soccer again will do me some good besides losing my voice from the sideline.

On Friday I limited my pizza intake at dinner. I only had a few snacks during Christmas morning, I mean, opening college football Saturday. And of course, as today is Fast Sunday, also known as weight-loss Sunday to me, I haven't had to fight so many delectable temptations.

My Mom says she can see some weight loss in my face, but I don;t know if I buy it yet. We'll see when I weigh-in tomorrow morning. That is, if I wake up in time.

Poco a Poco

Down another pound! Oh, yeah. Oatmeal might not be the best tasting glop in the world, but it's paying dividends. Today, I also resisted a whole bunch of temptation. I am currently fighting the urge to pop some popcorn and make a sandwich and eat that last Fat Boy in my freezer before I go to bed in 20 minutes. Talk about self-control.

Those Darn Taste Buds!

After a weekend of recklessness involving pizza and popcorn, I'm back to the oatmeal slop in the mornings. My taste buds have started a rebellion, complete with protests, book burnings, and a student rally. The bacon, egg, and potato burrito I scarfed for dinner didn't hold it's usual luster. Hopefully, I can restore order without having to subdue them with habaneros or something with firepower of similar magnitude.

Anybody have any tasty snack recipes? Oh, wait. I mean, does anyone have any good, healthy recipes that would satisfy my need for good sabor? And I don't mean anything like Mrs. Roberts made for her family either.

Quickie

Okay. I've been busy, but not super busy with my exercising efforts. I'll admit I didn't do anything while on vacation...and I only gained 0.2 pounds.

Since then I have lost. When school started I was at 285.5. I am now down to 283.3. This is the lightest I have been since I started my Wii regimen back in February! I've been getting at least 4 days a week with the exception of when we were out of town.

Here's what i have done lately. I've taken the advice of Amy's uncle David, and started eating less calories-monitoring mostly at breakfast. I eat 1/2 cup of oatmeal every weekday morning along with a piece of fruit and a little milk. Then I try to eat a decent (somewhat healthy) lunch. Sometimes I'm dying during class. This morning, though, a student brought brownies, so I had to take one for the team. Darn.

I've even stopped the liquid poison again. Next cream soda will have to wait until November.

Here's the Good News:

At dinner tonight I didn't get a Coke and I ordered a baked sweet potato and fresh vegetables (carrots and broccoli) instead of fries. ANNNNNNNNNNNNND...I rode 9 miles on the bike this morning!

Stress is not helping. Just a few more days.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

If I really want to lose weight, I have to stop eating like this!

Mwa-ha-ha!

Late...Yet Again

With all the excitement of me coming home from Logan, packing for the eastward excursion, and Independence Day (and the smorgasbord that it entails), I have an excuse or two for not checking in. And despite all the pigging out I did in the past few days, when I stepped on the scale this morning I had only gained 0.3 pounds since the last weigh-in. Now that puts me up to 286.2 for all you non-math types out there. Again, not too bad considering all the stress. However, that being said, I will be exercising more now that I am at home for a little while. If anybody has any tips for maintaining or even losing while on vacation, I'd be glad to hear your proposals.

Tonight I had a Subway sandwich. Maybe I could do the Jared thing. Nah. They all start tasting the same after a while...like six or seven bites.

It Comes in Threes

Three things: 1) Today I went 8 miles on the bike. 2) I also played basketball for an hour, and not just old, fat man b-ball either. I was moving up and down the court, only stopping here and there. I haven't played like that in ages. Not that I made too many shots, but I made my fair contribution. Unfortunately, I did also strain my calf. But I should be good as new soon. Don't think I'll play tomorrow, though.

3) Now, the thing I'm proudest of tonight, the obstacle that I overcame through sheer willpower--the battle where the willing spirit beat out the weakened natural flesh--was when I had about three dollars worth of change in my car and I drove right past all the drive-thru windows on Main Street. Take that fast food temptation! Man, I'm good.

I...

Rode the bike 7.5 miles. Walked all across campus. Didn't eat a large breakfast or lunch. Sweat to death in class until it was cancelled due to heat exhaustion. And brain exhaustion. And just plain old exhaustion. Proceeded to sweat in the apartment.

Success...Relatively Speaking

The last time I spent time in Logan working non-stop for a degree I gained about 15 pounds. And that was over four weeks. Yuck! I even walked everywhere, and I mean everywhere. See what stress does to me.

This past week (I measured Saturday morning after I got home) I only gained 1.5 pounds (285.9) since my the last time I checked. And I only exercised three times. Not too bad, I think. I only ate out once. Hopefully that's as bad as it gets. We'll see.

Anyone have any stress-relieving tips for someone who sits in class for a grand total of 6 hours ad 45 minutes each day and is expected to do about the same amount of daily homework?

Hey! Hey! Hey!

I'm feeling a bit like my boy, Fat Albert. Love that kid! I've been stressed, really stressed about my doctoral program, and so...I eat.

As a cohort, we went to an all-you-can-eat Brazilian grill tonight. Mmmm....

Now, before you wag your skinny little finger at me, hear that first thing this morning I went and rode the stationary bike for 25 minutes. I took an extra trip across the campus. And then, I ate until I was comfortable, but not over-stuffed. Believe it or not, I, the Pillsbury Dough Boy's body double, walked out of an all-you-can-eat without the need of a wheelbarrow or a cart. I've come a long way from the four (heaping) plate minimum at Chuck-o-rama rule.

Also, there are no available scales for me to use. I'll report back on Saturday when I go home for a couple days.

Change of Scene

I'm up in Logan now working on my doctoral work. And there's no scale that I've found so far...so there. I can't weigh in. But get this: I left my exercise clothes at home, but I went out and bought a new pair of shorts and a T-shirt so I can actually do something tomorrow. I'll keep you posted. And for all you haters who think I can't do it, I'm still going to prove you wrong.

Splat!

I think I've hit the proverbial wall. This one's made of glass, though...and my slobber marks from the blowfish impact are streaking down the glass. Makes running into a screen door look tame. I've been kinda taking it easier on the workouts and not watching my snacks as I've been grading late at night. Maybe the stress of starting school again today (for me) is adding a little extra poundage. Oh, well.

No excuses.

Weigh-in: 286.2 pounds. It's up, but I'm resolved to work off those extra couple cookies this week. I'll do a few more minutes of Wii Fit Super Hula Hoop to take it off.

On a positive note, my shorts are starting to slide off and I need a new belt notch. So, if I keep working this hard, you'll not want to walk behind me, if you know what I mean. You'll be blinded by the whiteness.

Bleary-eyed Ramble

Man, am I tired! Camping in the backyard can really kill someone's good sleeping habits. Flashlight in the face at 3:30 a.m. "'casue I gotsta pee" doesn't do much for me.

Despite the early wake-up and clean-up, I did still get in a few minutes of boxing, even if I had to settle a sister spat between rounds.

Anyway, today I did a couple things to not be so fat: 1) I chose a clementine over a half-pan of brownies. 2) I didn't eat all the fries that came in the combo...and they were fresh, too. Hopefully that sacrifice will be worth it.

Don't Call It a Comeback!

For those who don't get my LL Cool J reference, or those who thought I'd given up and bloated back to my former hugenitude, travel back to 1990 and get knocked out. It also fits the Wii workouts I've been doing. (Just don't read the comments on the link unless you don't mind washing your eyes out with soap.) LL asked me if I would body-double for him, but I was occupied at the time. Maybe one day, I'll be back in shape like that. Ha!

But back to my weight loss...

I've been fairly busy grading crappy essays from the independent study course I do, but it's becoming a little more manageable. I'm just too darn tired to post much. But here it is, last Mondays' weigh-in: 287.7.

Now, here's today (which shocked me): 283.5! That means that since school has let out, I've lost 9.5 pounds. And, no, if you find them, I don;t want them back. Do you know how long it's been since I've been this skinny? Me either. From now on, Monday is weigh-in day. Maybe I'll be awake enough to tell a story or two later this week.

Small Victories

I ordered the "healthier" thin crust chicken pizza instead of the stuffed-crust-all-meat heart-attack-in-a-box. I also made it four days of exercise in a row. And even though another student gifted me a pound of bacon, I just put it in the freezer for another day.

I also drank "liquid poison," Leah. Hey, I had to celebrate the last day of school somehow. And for the record, since New Year's I have only had one other carbonated beverage.

Tic-Tac-Toe

Three in a row: days of exercising, that is. I haven't done that on purpose for a few months. Unh! How ya like me now?

I also only ate two of the twelve special dark marshmallow-topped brownies that a student gave me today. And I gave the rest away so they don't tempt me tomorrow.

Anybody have any tricks, secrets, black magic, or anything to help with cravings? Chewing gum and my fingernails is not going to last for long.

Support & Stuff

Day 2: I got up and exercised two days in a row! I also turned down a trip out to lunch with some colleagues. I think I'll make Monday morning my weigh-in time.

Thanks for all the support, and I'm not just talking about my waistband. Several of you contacted me about not being able to post on this blog. I think I've fixed the problem. Comment away. I appreciate your encouragement. Any tips are welcome. I think after school is out (Thursday), I'll be able to focus more on de-blubbering.

Here We Go!

Thanks for the support, yo. It helps to know that you've all got my back. So, here I am on Day 1 (Sunday didn't count.) ready to get busy.

Starting weigh-in: 292 lbs.

That's less than I was when I started trying for the Walker Reunion Biggest Loser thingy that didn't really go anywhere for me.

So today I ate a smaller lunch and only partook sparingly of the seven-layer bean dip that was sitting out in the faculty room today. Man, that hurt to walk past it. I stuck to my small lunch and tomatoes and peppers--rabbit food. I guess it's a good thing that i actually like rabbit food. I may have to eat a rabbit in the near future, but who knows? It might be worth it.

I also woke up early and did a short Wii Fit workout. Did you know it's been 14 days since I've checked in? Yeah, I did.

We'll see what tomorrow brings? It's going to be hard with all this Independent Study crap we've been grading. I'll shut up now and go to bed.

P.S. There are no chocolates hidden under my pillow or on my shelf or in my dresser.

P.P.S. I also passed on the Oreo ice cream in the freezer.

It's Been a Long Time Coming: The Back Story

So, I've been overweight for oh, about since I can remember, or at least since just after high school, which some days is the same thing. And I've been okay about it. Even when we all got called up in health class to have our BMI measured (in front of everybody). I mean, hey, fat people make the world a jolly place, right?

Anyway, I digress. I suppose that the first time I really told myself I needed to stop enjoying food so much was back a few years ago when I was working on my Masters. After stepping on the scales after 6 weeks of unhealthy eating and sleeping and work stress, I topped out at 299 pounds. Right then and there I swore to myself that I would never reach the 300 mark, although in some sports that would be a sweet club to belong to. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), I've put my sumo ambitions to rest.

I worked it down to a manageable 280. But that seems to be about as low as I've been able to get it in recent years. Lately, the stress of working two jobs and going back to school (yes, again) have apparently overcome my self-control. Bummer for me. Honestly, I don't feel any bigger, but the straw that broke the buffalo's back (camels are too sissy) happened this past Friday when our school takes the students up to Lagoon for the annual end-of-year trip. After waiting 40 minutes in line to shake my guts, the worker can't get one of the darn harnesses to lock into place over my belly. Instead of trying to get me to suck it in, I was asked to get off. (Pause for audience to retrieve jaws from floor.) No, "I'm sorry, sir" just "We'll have to ask you to exit the ride."

That did it.

I am resolved to lose the pounds, fight the fight, shed the blubber from my carcass, for the good of myself, my family, and whoever else might happen to give a crap. And I plan to do it any way I can. This blog will serve as a reminder for me as well as an inspiration because I'm going to make myself post frequently about what I did to not be so fat each day.

I realize my limitations. Guacamole bacon cheeseburgers will never become extinct, not should they. I can't drop it all overnight, although that would be a cool trick. My busy schedule won't really allow for an established routine or a gym membership. And I absolutely refuse to give in to one of those stupid fad diets. To quote my favorite feline, Garfield, "the word 'diet' is simply 'die' with a 't' on the end of it."

So I'm asking for support, some sympathy, and even a kick in the trunk every once in a while from you, my friends. Grab the Twinkie out of my hand, ask me if I should really be asking for bigger dessert plates, or at least leave me some encouragement every once in a while. It'll be much easier knowing that others are watching.

I'll keep you updated on my progress. I might post weights; I might not. It all depends on how much time it takes to sweep up the remains of the scale after I stomp its guts out. I'll just post every so often about things that I do to not be so fat.

P.S. Today I only ate one BLT for dinner and didn't have anything to snack on after 7:00.
(Pudgy smiley face.)

P.P.S. Also note the section at the bottom of the blog labeled "Self-imposed Rules Blah Blah Blah."