Short Update

So, it's been a few weeks, and I've made some changes.  Well, all I'm doing is (a) trying not to eat so much and (b) keeping track of some of my fitness efforts including jumping jacks, sit-ups, and push-ups.  I also decided to track my spiritual fitness: I record my scripture reading--not for personal glory, but just to keep me on track.  It's been working.  Oh, yeah.  I was down to 284 before I came up to Logan.  I haven't found a scale up here yet.

Starting Over

289.  That's what it said last night.
286.8 is what it read this morning.  It's amazing how much weight you lose while you sleep.  Oh...because I'm not eating!

So this morning I successfully did 22 minutes on the Wii Fit, finished my sit-ups, push-ups, and jumping jacks, read my scriptures (I'm including spiritual health this time around), and ate my oatmeal (plain-gag) before the kids were up.  Not bad.

At the grocery store I bought a bunch of healthy rabbit food and geek, I mean Greek yogurt.  I passed on a Sprite at dinner.  I ate a green pepper for my snack this evening.

I'm determined.  I'm even going to make charts for the kids (at their request) tomorrow.

Each day I'll record the stuff I mentioned above in order to better track my progress.  However, the Wii part isn't going to be solid.  It's going to be a blank category where I record something "extra" that I've done.  Another example is that I'm going to try and take all five kids hiking up the canyon (yes, by myself).  Insane? Of course.  Worth it?  I'll let you know.

By the way, I could do with an "attaboy" every ow and again, too.  Thanks.

Blubber--The Backstory

This is a post about a whale. No!

This is a post about getting skinny. No!

This is a post about me; it's about the story behind the title of this blog, which I so pathetically left to rot for over a month.  And if you think that because I abandoned posting since April it's because I was too embarrassed to write how I wasn't keeping up on my plans, you might be right.  Then again, you're not entirely correct.  But I digress.

When I was ten or eleven, I checked out Judy Blume's Blubber from the base library.  I don't entirely remember what it was about except that a group of girls makes fun of a classmate for being a little overweight, one stands up and ends up ostracized--typical upper elementary bullying-type-stuff.  The picture I've posted might not even be the right one.  I think the one I read had been mutilated and replaced by one of those generic '70s-looking library hard covers that nobody (except book geeks like me) checks out.

 But rambling on, I don't know if it was that or the fact that we had just discovered that one of our favorites types of gum (Felix the Cat) we could purchase off the base in Japan was made from whale blubber.  Whatever it was, my younger brothers started a new tactic of getting under my skin.  I had grown a little pudgier of late.  When fighting, as loving brothers always do, they would stay out of smashing distance, and duck in under my blows, poke me in the stomach and go "blub." It was just irritating at first, but then they started doing it constantly, jumping from around corners to poke the whale.  What made it worse in my ten/eleven-year-old eyes, was that they were hired to be models and I was left out.  I think I started to develop an identity complex.  Don't worry.  I wasn't scarred for life--I don't need extensive therapy or anything.  I just grew up (and out) and came to terms with my massiveness.

Now, I know they didn't mean to cause so much damage, but looking back, I think it did.  And I hesitate to post this, knowing that they might read it.  However, I'm good.  It made me stronger.  And besides, I can still smash them whenever I feel like it.  They are two of my best friends today.  Funny how that works out.  I'm not even going to start to go into all the psychological damage I must have done to them.  I'll save that for later.  The funny thing was, I wasn't even all that big then.  I graduated high school at about 175 or 180 lbs.

Most of the time now, I'm the one who starts in on the fat jokes.  When I went on my mission to Spain, I was self-dubbed one of the Fat Boys (shout out to Eric).  I took pride in my food and my ability to consume and produce mass quantities (with exceptional quality).   When I returned, I weighed in at 230.  It wasn't until after I got married that I ballooned to 270+.  And, no, it's not Amy's fault either.

Honestly, I think most of it is genetic.  I take after my dad's side of the family, sized XXL.  There is a history of health problems which I won't expound upon here.  Lucky me; I've probably inherited all of them.  But here's the clincher--nothing that I can prevent is going to lick me.  Sometimes I get discouraged being the biggest and the strongest (and the slowest and the roundest).  And sometimes I epically fail in my attempts to lose weight and get back into shape.  But I'm gonna keep getting back up until I make a breakthrough.

After the kids finally fall asleep tonight, I'm going to weigh in again and start from scratch.  I'm restarting some exercise, restarting healthier eating, and stop stressing so much about crap I can't control.  Oh, yeah.  I'll post more often, too.

Guess which one of those last statements is the lie.

Watch out world, the whale is going to start shrinking!  He's angry...no..just cranky from bacon withdrawal.

Update

Up to ten in a row!

Throw Back Accomplishment

So...despite all the internship stress and work, I've been able to keep up on my fitness challenge. Each day (except Sunday, my day of no exercise) I have been able to do my jumping jacks (or as Sam calls them, dumpndacks), crunches, and push-ups. And as indicated in the title of this post, I was thrown back to my 9th grade days...specifically gym class. The last time I was forced to do one of those presidential fitness test thingies I did eight push-ups in a row. I matched that yesterday. Boo-yah! Who says the fat guy can't come back?

And just for reading this, you can watch this video from 1991. Former, in-shape, used-to-be-able-to-grab-rim former self, "I've Been Thinking About You."


P.S. As another reference point, this was also the year I ran a 5:30 mile. Try to picture that now. I dare you.

Small Success

So, I haven't weighed myself in a while. So what? I haven't been exercising in a while. So what? I haven't been sleeping much lately either. So what?

Stress. That's what.

However, I am determined to start doing something to be better. In fact, I already have done something. On Monday I instituted a family fitness challenge. Every day for 100 days (or so) everyone, who is physically capable (excuses may vary) needs to do at least 20 jumping jacks, 20 sit-ups or crunches, and 10 push-ups. Every. Day.

Do you know how long it's been since I've done push-ups? The last fitness test I did--in 9th grade--I could do eight push-ups before collapsing. Count 'em: eight. Since then I could only do three at any given time. My success...last night I did four. Plus, I've reached my totals each day since then. That's three consecutive days...four after I go home and gut them out tonight.

Before you keep laughing, just remember that pushing up 285 pounds is a whole lot harder than pushing up 150, you skinny little pukes!

I still need to figure out an incentive to keep going (more for the kids than for me). Any ideas?

Guilty

Just before my 90 minute presentation this evening I needed comfort food. So, a double Baconator (from Wendy's), fries and an insanely large Dr. Pepper later, I was chilled enough to deliver. After I got home, I started feeling guilty about all the crap I've shoveled into my body over the past couple weeks. (Yes, now you know why I haven't been posting on here.) Guilt.

And now I'm starting to feel it. You know, that Weird Al Yankovic-wannabe-Michael Jackson-type feeling. No, not this one. This one. Yep. That's me. Not really, but it's a good image for incentive.

And now for the good news! I exercised after I got home. And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Just watch me. (No, not literally. That's gross.)