Bacon Fast

There is no excuse for my lack of posting, so deal with it.

I am going to boldly go where no man in his right mind has gone before.  No, you Star Trek nerds, I’m not following James T. Kirk anywhere.  Remember, if it’s on this blog, it pertains to my belly.  Duh.

I really don’t know how this evil started, but a week or two ago Amy asked if I could go without bacon for a month.  Context: I’m not sure, but I think we were either talking about our giving up carbonation from January until the end of the school year, or perhaps I was salivating over the new Carl’s Jr. Super Bacon Burger.  By the way, they are highly overrated.  They contain the same floppy, soft bacon they always do—nothing super about it, just more of it.  Usually, that’s a good thing, but after eating it I felt like I got hosed.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I answered Amy that I probably could but I wouldn’t want to.  Zac, overhearing said, “That’s stupid.  Why would anyone ever want to?”  (I’ve trained the man cub well.)  And that was the end of the discussion.

Last week, after the last hurrah of the school year, Amy started walking in the mornings again.  Not wanting to be a bigger slacker than I already am, saw that I had a little extra time on my hands (not much), so I started up on the Wii Fit again.  Now, this is the sorry part.  Since last summer, I have not exercised on the Wii more than two times per week (in most cases none) until this week.  I went thrice into the basement to get my rhythmic boxing and step aerobics on.  Add to that some baseball practice and hiking around Maple Lake with the scouts and across town with the stake youth for an activity, and I’ve had a fairly active week.

Yesterday, I weighed in and found that I was back down to 291.  I’m not going to tell you where I’ve been, but let’s just say that I didn’t cross the barrier that must not be named…or really even came too close, if you know what I mean.

After that weigh-in I went to my classroom (Yes, I know I just left it.) to study in its eerie solitude (Let’s just say it could make a good setting for a zombie movie.) for my upcoming comprehensive exams, of which I am mortally terrified.  (I’d rather face the zombies with nothing more than a #2 pencil.)

WARNING: TANGENT OVERLOAD.  THIS BLOG POST WILL DESTRUCT IF ANY MORE TANGENTS ARE UNLEASHED!

Okay, so the point is…somehow I convince myself that I would give up bacon for a month starting today, Sunday, June 2, 2013.  Not even bacon bits sprinkled on top of maple donuts.

Hurl all the insults you want, but somehow my overloaded circuits have convince myself that it will be “good” for me.  It’s become a matter of pride now.  I don’t think there is any prize.  Truth be told, if the dudes from Epic Meal Time ever found out, they would probably demand that I hand over my man card.  Tough.  All I know is that my burger on July 4^th will be loaded with premium smoked pork product—thick sliced.  Plus, there are other manly meat dishes to satisfy my carnivorous cravings.

My hypothesis: I will lose weight, but not due to lack of bacon consumption.  Rather, I will also be test-free and have time to exercise more than normal.

If any of you have any wagers, or encouragement, or advise, please leave them in the comments below.  But remember, if you can’t say anything nice….

Super Slacker!

So, the name of the game at my house is superheroes, if you ask Sam.  The Caped Crusader being his hero of choice right now.  However, I have not, nor ever will I, run around in tights and a cape.  (That image just made quite a few of you lose your appetites for the next three months.)  In fact, its been the opposite.  Outside of throwing batting practice to Zac's team and one night of flag football, I haven't done much of anything active lately.

All I have to say is that doctoral programs are not good for one's weight or blood pressure or much of anything else health-related.

I probably wouldn't even be posting today, but I figured that I hadn't done any posting since March.  That's not a good sign either.  I will say, though, that I gave up carbonation (again) until the end of the school year.  That started around the date of my last post, and I have kept it up.

Zac wants me to help him earn his Athlete activity pin in Webelos.  I'm not exactly the best role model for fitness, cape or no cape.  So, I'll try to do better.

P.S.  I found this picture on this blog: http://paulbentley.wordpress.com/2011/05/11/is-it-a-bird-is-it-a-plane-no-its-super-morbidly-obese-man-woman/

Sheer Will Power

With a dollar in my pocket, standing in front of the Coke machine, I made a conscious decision to NOT purchase a refreshing beverage or a bag of fried jalapeno and cheddar flavored fat.   I also passed on the pie.

How's that for will power?

3.14 = Pi(e) Day!

Normally I skip lunch and stuff myself full of various pies that the math students bring in for extra credit.  However, in an effort to reign it in, I've only had two slices today.  Compare that to eight or twelve or so.  Not bad, eh?  I've also started the sit-ups again--three days straight so far.  And sometimes I can get Sam to do some "jumping jacks" with me, too.  Gotta get Zac's arm back into shape for baseball, too.  It's been rough with his broken collarbone.  This week the weather finally permitted me to put together the backboard the kids got for Christmas.  Now, we just need a good ball.  (Zac lost his other one.  Go figure.)

Last night another leader and I took the boys to buy some donuts after our service project.  We bought two dozen (boxen) assorted fatty blobs.  Wanna guess how many donuts I ate?  Answer: one.  Aren't you so proud of me?

See, it's coming.  Little by little.

The New Plan?

This morning, despite Daylight Savings hangover, I decided to exercise.  To qualify this new "plan" of mine, I will use a little justification.  Heh heh.  On my trip to Spokane, even though I had "nothing" to do, I did not hobble down to the defunct exercise room of the hotel.  Th equipment looked like my junior high gym.  And those of you who went to JH with me (YHS or LAMS) know that it was pretty crappy.  Anyway, the Wii told me, as I awkwardly tried getting back into rhythmic boxing and step aerobics, that I hadn't "trained' for 63 days.  Honestly, I haven't done much as far as deliberate exercise goes for a long time.  (I know. I know. You don't have to criticize.)

The results of this non-exercise plan: I've lost 4.6 pounds.  Maybe I should keep it up.  (Insert stupid, winking emoticon here.)

Less is More...Right?

So during our kitchen outage (replacing the floors in our upstairs), I haven't eaten the best things.  However, despite this act, I have reduced the amount of toxins (both liquid and solid) that I have put into my body.  That's a step in the right direction, right?  I hope so, because not much else is happening.  I haven't gone to play ball again due to a bruised heel.  And just this week, I've hurt my ribs somehow.  I'm not sure, but it might have had something to do with moving large appliances (with and without help).  It's so hard to be active when you are injured.  At least I can eat less.

P.S.  It's easier not to eat any ice cream if there isn't any in the house.

Basketball Joe

So it's been a long time since I've blogged about being active.  Well, it's been a while since I've been active.

I'd like to turn over a new leaf.  I'd also like to get rid of this spare tire around my middle while eating a bacon sundae.  Yeah, that'll happen.  But I did make a stride, or at least a shuffle forward.  Yesterday, I wrestled with the kids and exercised with them--jumping jacks and sit-ups and push-ups.

Tonight I went and played two-on-two basketball for an hour.  I actually did pretty well for a fat, old white guy who can't jump.  Here goes some weight loss.  Oh, yeah...my friend ran into a brick wall playing basketball tonight and lost his balance, his glasses, and the ball.  Oh, I guess that was me.