Neglect

It doesn't seem like the blog has suffered too badly from the neglect imposed somewhat by the tangential divergence of Joe Average Writer to delve into food issues.  Just so you know, I did not eat everything I posted about.  I have no real idea how much weight I gained from my holiday binge.  However, it wasn't as bad as I predicted.

After not getting on Wii Fit for 77 days, my weight as of December 31st was 290.6 pounds.The new fitness goal through work is to lose five pounds during the month of January.  I think the best way for me to accomplish this is three-fold: 1) Don't stress as much.  We all know that when I am stressed, I eat way too much of what's not good for me.  When I'm not stressed, I can keep the hunger monster at bay.  2) I need my sleep.  I feel better and I exercise more when I'm not trying to catch up on sleep.  So, I've got to find more creative times to read and finish all the house projects (painting, furnace stuff, floors both wood and carpet).  Don't worry; I'm not doing them all myself. Finally, 3) Play more.  'Nuff said.

Kobiyashi should not be my role model.

I still need people to cheer me on, though.

What Happened?

So is this blog jealous that Joe Average Writer, my other blog, is getting all the attention?  Especially since it's all about food?  Not really.  Blubber is patient.  It keeps warm warm while the rest of the blogging world freezes.  No need to worry.  Make that double Hakuna Matata since I'm trying to control the portions of what I've been posting on the other channel.

Sickness and Health (and a Preview)

I’m not sure exactly how this post will flow (ignore supposed transitions) since I’m going to double post it—both on Joe Average Writer and here on Fatty’s Blubber Blog. The rare few who frequent both sites don’t need to bother with reading it twice. But I guess those of you who are anal enough to do it…can…I guess. I’d just recommend another hobby…or therapy.

Back from the tangent now: yesterday I came back from being on the sick wagon. No, I didn’t stuff myself with too much turkey or stuffing or pie (mmm…pie) or any birthday treats. Believe me, or not, I’ve held my eating in check at the start of this birthday/holiday season. More on that in a moment.

Last Friday night, Sariah got sick in the bathtub. Gross, I know. Then around one in the freakin’ a.m. Zac wakes me up, and says, “Dad, I barfed. Could you help me clean it up?” Give him credit—he wasn’t covered in puke. He even made sure he made it to the bathroom. However, he didn’t quite make it to the porcelain. An explosion of not-so-well-chewed bean with bacon soup covered the entire bathroom floor. The backsplash made it halfway up the tub and cabinets, behind the toilet and up the far wall at least six inches. How he escaped the blast zone without any on him, I’ll never know. And he was too asleep to register anything.

Two nights later Amy and Brooklyn both tossed their cookies (on Amy’s b-day, even), and my stomach started having issues. I must point out here that I never bowed to the porcelain god, but I still offered tribute, if you know what I mean. Needless to say, I am tired of cleaning up chunks of chicken and pineapple and cheese (and bile). And I am tired of not getting much done.

So, to remedy that period of barfiness, and to celebrate my (relative) health, Amy and I have finished the initial version of our independent study course revision, I have turned in the last of my (also pukey) stats homework, and I have been able to do some planning for when my student teacher jumps ship next week. One thing I have not done is work on my NaNoWriMo novel. Yes, say it. I’m bad.

Now, back to Thanksgiving and birthdays and food and such. This year, for the month of December, I am going to post a picture and recipe of “Food That Makes Me Happy.” Yes, you smart-aleck, that could include most, if not all foods. Yes, the title also sounds a little childish, but do you know what? I don’t care. This time of year is one for reliving those cherished childhood memories of Christmas, those indelible moments that will never vanish no matter how hard we try to erase them…oh, I mean, those moments that will bring us joy throughout our whole lives. Now that I’ve cheesed it up enough for you (more, fresh Parmesan or cracked pepper, sir?), here’s a taste of what is to come, because Thanksgiving makes me happy. In fact, it’s my favorite holiday, I think, but I’ll write about that another time. For now, enjoy the picture. I’m not going to give a recipe today. That’s for December.  Just don't lick the screen.  That's gross.

This delectable plate, by the way, includes turkey of both the light and dark variety, real mashed potatoes, yams, sausage and apple stuffing, homemade bread, cranberry sauce, pond scum, gravy, carrots, sweet pickles, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, sweet bell peppers, and black olives. Pie was later.

P.S. I lost six pounds, too.

Squash!

We received quite a few squashes the other week, and so Amy has decided that we need more squash in our lives.  Personally, I don't mind squash.  I think it can be quite delicious depending on how it's cooked.  One of my favorite was to consume the gourd is by marinading it, grilling it, and rolling it in Parmesan cheese.

So, needless to say, we have been eating lots of squash lately.  I'm going on three days in a row.  That's a lot for me.  We never ate it growing up.  I remember the first time I ever ate squash (knowingly). We were on vacation, and my Uncle Brian cooked up a bunch of green and yellow.  My brothers and I had never had it before.  (I think I was about seven.)  They tried it and immediately decided it was the most disgusting vegetable on the planet.  That doesn't say mush as the only vegetables they really ate were corn and cucumbers.

I, on the other hand, was tipped of by my cousins Pete and Jed that tons of butter made them palatable.  They were right.  And that's still the way I eat squash most of the time.  Since then I don't recall having squash at home until the past few years.  The kids ate it out of baby food jars, but we didn't.  It smelled too awful.  Plus, I didn't know how to cook it.  The only time I seemed to eat it was when we (occasionally) went out and it was served with the entree or when we went to a buffet.  Now (Amy and) I can serve it up many ways.

So today, I'm coming out to say publicly that I like squash. And if anyone has any awesome recipes for squash, I'm game.

P.S.  Lunch is a beef and squash (with peppers, onions, and tomatoes) casserole.  Mmmmmmmm!

I Can Do Portions!

Today, I'm bragging about my portion control over the weekend.  Despite multiple opportunities to pig out, I was able to reign in the cravings and fend off the frontal attack on my taste buds.  Saturday I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, one sandwich for lunch and a bag of popcorn for dinner (with not very much snacking in-between.  Amy asked if I was sick.  No, just Sam.  It's probnably a goo dhting I didn't go to the Halloween party.

Sunday found me salivating over a new recipe: honey sesame pork loin.  Whoa!  I limited myself to one plate, which also included roasted potatoes, a beautiful green salad (rabbit food), fruit, and a slab of Amy's homemade bread.

Perhaps the most difficult challenge came when Dad pulled his asphalt pie from the freezer.  Yes, I know, or at least I can guess how bad it is for me--and no, I don't count calories--yet I resisted the urge to consume more than one piece.  I challenge anyone else to try that.

For those who know me better than others, my portions were not my standard portions (three times as large as a "normal" person).  The descriptions here would be approved by any health board or restaurant oversight commission. (Chuckle.)

Free Advice

Monday (yesterday) was the beginning of Red Ribbon Week at our school.  The National Junior Honor Society has been put in charge of activities and they have a pretty good program lined up for the week.  Today they had a few guest speakers to address alcohol and tobacco and other substance abuse.  Yesterday was supposed to highlight bad eating habits to stay away from...and so, naturally, they held a pie eating contest.  Of course, right?  It makes perfect sense.

Students were able to put their names in a drawing to participate alongside two teachers for each lunch period.  My self-conscious self and I decided to stay away once the announcements started coming out.  However, nobody else really wanted to do it either.  The students, mostly mine came begging for me to participate.

And, yes, predictably, I took one for the team.  I went down and gobbled an entire double-crusted, store-bought apple pie.  I took my time, but yes, I killed it.  There was no contest.  I was done before the others had hit the half-way point...and I wasn't even hurrying.

It wasn't until later that day that I got my prize: a nice stomach ache that lasted until today.  I mean, it was so bad I only had carrots and celery and pea pods for dinner.

So, I guess you want the advice (if you've kept with me this far).  When engaging in a pie eating contest, do not eat lunch before or after the event.  Also, make sure the pies are of the cream variety so they go down easier (and don't come back with any sort of vengeance).

Talk about Self Control

Today I did not go back and devour the jalapeno and cheddar Cheetos that have been calling my name from the faculty room vending machine.  Take that, waistline.  I didn't eat part of my lunch.  Just because part of it went bad (expired yogurt) doesn't mean that I can't exercise self control.  I didn't even have a snack after 8:00 last night.  The fact that I ate too much Chinese for dinner is beside the point.

We're taking the whole famn damily out tonight.  Maybe if I plan now, I won't gobble everything like a wolf after three little pigs tonight.  I have no idea where we're going, but I should order small and then attempt to keep all the rules on my chart (still located at the bottom of the page).  Either that or I can tell myself that leftovers will taste even better tomorrow.